1. |
Winter
04:19
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Standing in my house, staring out the window
It's a beautiful summer day, but inside I feel buried in snow
It feels icy and hard
It feels brittle, about to fall apart
It's the winter of my heart
and there's no sign of Spring
It gets colder every day it seems
I built these walls from ice to surround
and if they ever melt, maybe they'll drown me
they'll keep you out they'll keep you at bay
I made no door so here I will stay
because being alive feels like stealing
avoiding life is more appealing than staying in a world
that leaves you feeling cold
and I couldn't explain it so I drove away my friends
I gave them a reason to hate me again and again and again
I burned some bridges because they just wouldn't listen
even while I was screaming, "This is it!"
because staying here feels like stealing
avoiding life is more appealing than staying in a world
that leaves you feeling cold
Feeling old
"The world has had enough of you.
You should go."
you could say I'm moody but I think that's putting it far too lightly
this is little more than cruelty and all my solutions are so unsightly
Do I need to spell it out? Where I'm going I won't be found
So you can turn around now I'm leaving and I won't be helped
I didn't choose this, for once it's not myself I blame
Who would choose to bring on winter day after endless day?
There's a reason I feel colder every day in my chest
There's a reason I'm always angry and I can't find any rest
And you're the reason I am leaving
Because of you that's more appealing
Than staying in a world that leaves you feeling cold
Oh my soul
I have had enough
I think I'll go.
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2. |
Hate Me III: Fuck Love
03:20
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Is this a change coming over me or have I always been this way? I don't think I used to be so angry but it feels like I'm growing more so every day. This damnable winter. This damnable cold. This damnable anger leaves me feeling old grudges and older regrets and the bitter words you said to me when you left. When I tried to call out your name but the words were taken from my breath. I tried to say I love you. But I can't.
Fuck love.
It leaves you bitter. It leaves you angry.
It leaves you with nothing not even a damn
Fuck love.
The winter of my heart is a permafrost- it never melts. and I'm starting to believe that spring won't come until my neck's resting in a belt. You wanna see this worsen? Say the word or your name. It's just like a poison. You wanna see this worsen? Say "love" or your name- it's just like a poison. I tried to call out your name but the words were taken by the wind's chill. I tried to say "I love you" but I never did and I never will.
Fuck love.
It leaves you bitter. It leave you angry.
It leave you with noting not even a damn.
Fuck love.
You could try it if you got something to prove
You could try it if you don't think I speak the truth
You could try it. See how it fits on you.
You could try it. I'm not going to.
Fuck love.
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3. |
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Remember this? Wasn't this so fun?
Back when I used to be someone you trust. Someone you could love.
And someone you wanted to be around
But that's it. Those days are gone. Cut down like the grass on the lawn
And you can't stand to see me now
Maybe I'm older. Maybe I'm just more mature. Maybe I'm colder.
I'm not really sure anymore.
I might be broken. I'll tell no one.
I might be jokin'. I'll tell no one.
The best days of my life? They're over.
I'll tell no one. I'll tell no one at all.
And that's it. That's just the way it is. And I don't have the will to change a thing.
I'll stagnate. I'll let myself rot. And then I'll let the winter claim me.
All I've got is these once warm thoughts and they serve to remind me of who I used to be and what that used to mean.
But now I'm older. And now I've grown unsure. And now I'm colder. I'm not sure who I am anymore.
I might be broken. I'll tell no one.
I might be jokin'. I'll tell no one.
The best days of my life? They're over
I'll tell no one. I'll tell no one at all.
There's a lump in my throat and I can't swallow it. I choke on who I used to be and what that used to mean.
I might be broken. There's just no way to know. I might be jokin'. There's just no way to know. I might be broken, I might be jokin', there's just no way to know.
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4. |
The Thaw
04:42
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It’s cold tonight
It’s cold every night
I’m tired tonight
Tired of the cold
I search for the light
The light of warmth alone in the night
I’m sleeping tonight
Alone, an angel in snow
It’s been years now
Years alone in the cold now
It’s been years now
I’m tired of the cold
I’ll tell you one thing
It’s hard to have nothing to hold
I’ll you one thing
It’s hard to keep warm
Now I’ve seen the light
Just a spark of hope in the night
What a beautiful sight
And it’s keeps me warm
And I’m ready for the thaw
I don't want to hate anymore.
Try not to be bitter. Try not to be angry.
Try to give something more than a damn.
I don't want to hate anymore.
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This is Me Looking Dangerous Rockaway Township, New Jersey
This is Me Looking Dangerous is Kyle Walker occasionally writing songs and less occasionally forcing his friends to play them.
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