1. |
Clumsy Man
03:21
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I keep a notebook on the shelf
That I show to no one else
I keep my thoughts and scrawlings inside
because I don't trust them to a hard drive
I know that it's not safe
To keep my thoughts in an open place
Where anybody passing by
Can look into my mind
So I'm giving you my trust
To keep this between us
But when you wouldn't stay
I knew I'd been betrayed
Better watch what you say
because starting from today
We will find ourselves at odds
Until our tensions rub us raw
and I will take my stand
Meet you with everything I am
This didn't have to be
I am your enemy
Until wretched and weak
I fall at your feet
Unguarded, unclothed
My wounds are exposed
Please don't tell
don't tell anyone
Please don't tell
They'll know what I've become
Where you expecting something more pathetic?
That I'd curl into a ball and completely withdraw?
I really thought you'd be more apathetic
Didn't you want to bleed out my resiliency?
I don't want them to know
What I really am
I don't them to know
That I'm just a clumsy man with his clumsy hands,
A collection of faces and catchy phrases
And oafish son, he's tired, he's numb
His vacant gaze shows that he's far away
A trial by fire, by flame
And I emerge singed and with little more than a stain
On my heart, a stain on my mind
and a burning desire to rid myself of traits I despise
So I want you to know
This is what I am
And I'm trying to show
I'm gonna be more than a craven lad, a brazen lad
doesn't know where to place the fist he's raised
A clever boy with his clever ploys
You can see in his eyes that he believes his lies
I keep a notebook on the shelf.
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2. |
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Give me some words to clear my head
Give me something to think about
Give me a catch phrase or tell me a place
A man can go and never be found
Or you can take me out in public
You can leave me in a corner at parties
I'll play video games in a vacant daze
To keep my spirits from coming down
I need constant distractions
Idleness leads to introspection
and god forbid I think about myself
I try to write down what I'm feeling
mask it as music, as poetry
but Matt's already done it for me
and before I can even do a thing
I scream "Oh! I am weak! I am weak!"
Oh, I am weak.
There's no reason to feel this way
I think I'm looking for someone to blame
here on this bannister, it's looking dangerous, I could fall down
i think I'm looking for that last shove now
if you break my spine in 8 different places
I promise that I won't feel any pain
This isn't life
This isn't living
No sorrow, no joy, no pain
Life hasn't always been like this
Peppered with such aggressive ambivalence
If it once had color, it's faded to grey and I grow more tired every day
I grow more tired every day
Break my spine in 8 different places
I know that I won't feel any pain
this isn't life
This can't be called living
No sorrow, no joy, no pain
I told you to hate me
That's all I wanted you to do
I used to hate myself
but now I'm starting to hate you
And it's tearing me apart
So I'm tearing out my heart
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3. |
This Distance
04:15
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300 miles isn't so far, but it's a ways to go alone in your car
Foot on the gas, steady grip on the wheel
5 hours gives you some time to kill
It's not running away
it's just finding a new place
If I could take you with me I know that it would be grand,
It would be lovely
But it's not that simple and that with this we'll
have to go our separate ways
Weeks turn to months, months to seasons and years
And I wish like hell that you were still here
New friends come, become dear to me
but it takes so long to build memories
And now we've all gone away
Gone for such endless days
We text and send letters but in person is better
I lean against the wall as I make the call
And now it just hits, shit,
I'm gonna miss this
I curse this distance
It strains these bonds
It frays these bonds
And they rust, gather dust
And I fear they'll be cut
A knock on the door, you don't recognize me anymore
There's something familiar but your eyes aren't really sure
And it's been a long time, I know, oh god, yes I know
So I can't really blame them
A shock to us both, but now that we have both recovered
A joy to discover a long-lost friend, forgotten brother
A welcome acquaintance or a wayward lover
A companion whom I loved
This is me now
That was me then
So good to see you
My friend
This is me now.
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This is Me Looking Dangerous Rockaway Township, New Jersey
This is Me Looking Dangerous is Kyle Walker occasionally writing songs and less occasionally forcing his friends to play them.
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